Raising an only child and socialization

Having only one child is a choice many parents make in the face of rising educational and day-to-day costs. Other parents find that their circumstances change and they are no longer able to have more children due to a number of other reasons. As a parent of a single child I am constantly asked when I am going to have another child, and my standard response is ‘when I want to’. We feel pressurized by society to produce a plethora of offspring, as otherwise our child will be lonely, or antisocial. This is a baseless assumption, as many successful people who have no problems, either emotional or social are single children themselves and it never stopped them succeeding. In order to get on in the world, our children need to learn to interact with others, as well as integrate themselves into groups. However sometimes we may need a little help on getting our children to interact successfully with other little people and there are numerous ways to do this.

A good place to begin socializing your child is within the family. Giving him responsibility (cleaning his room, hanging his clothes), is a good place to begin the process of readying him to go out into the world and make a positive difference. Sounds like you are getting a lot for making his keep his room tidy, but it gives him a sense of accomplishment as well as knowing he has a responsibility to you, to keep it that way. If your child has cousins or other young relations near his age it is a good idea to get them into regular contact with each other. Not only can this help your child get used to having other children around him, it provides a sense of security that they are in his home, where he is familiar with his surroundings. It will also help him learn more about family and the ties that bind one.

Obviously the place your child will learn the most about interacting and ‘just getting on with’ other children is school. Schools are designed to be mini-societies where there is a ruling class (teachers), and the general public (the pupils). Rules are laid down and infringement of these rules will result in punishments. Rewards are given for good behavior, and a certain amount of freedom of choice is allowed. All of these things help your child learn about the world, and his expectations of himself within the world.

Parties are a fantastic way for your child to interact on an informal basis. It is vital that your child learns basic social skills, like how to chat informally or talk to members of the opposite sex. There isn’t a politician alive who can survive without having to go to parties and know how to charm the pants off potential voters! Most of this is learnt during childhood, and the teenage years.

Sporting activities and clubs are vital to the life of a single child. Be it soccer, netball, horse riding, choir or chess, all of these activities allow time with other children and will help build team skills. Taking the lead in certain instances, or being the follower will all help your child lay the foundation for the adult he will soon be. Your child will also learn that he may not always come first, and in fact sometimes the better of the team will be put before the betterment of his particular skills. In many cases this is a new experience for the single child who has generally been the first consideration in his household and therefore expects the world to work the same way. Often, children from single child homes are incredibly spoilt and throw tantrums when things do not go their way. This is something most parents are aware of, but do not guard against. Teaching your child to share his toys, sweets, and his parent’s time is something that should be done from a young age so that it isn’t a huge shock when he has to do it, as he gets older.